


Somewhere in Between

by river_soul



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/river_soul/pseuds/river_soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney doesn’t know if she’d call him her friend but she is the only one, the only living person in two galaxies that he’s willing to stand in front of a gun for. He thinks that might mean something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere in Between

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [](http://shadowserenity.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://shadowserenity.livejournal.com/)**shadowserenity**

Atlantis is gone.

“Elizabeth,” Rodney cries and his voice sounds far away. People are screaming and she can feel the heat of the fire on her face. “Please,” Rodney says again and then she feels his hand wrap around her wrist. She turns, surprised by the strength behind his grip and the intensity in his eyes.

“We can’t…we can’t just,” she says but Rodney is pulling her towards the Stargate, towards the blue of the event horizon that swells like the ocean. “John-” she starts.

“-Has his job,” Rodney tells her and now more people are rushing past them, towards the safety of the gate. Glass explodes over their heads, and the city shutters, cries out and through it all she can see John, face bloodied but alive, up in the control room. He opens his mouth, looks past her to Rodney, but his words are swallowed whole by the death cry of the city.

“Everyone else is through,” Rodney says and when she looks to him he is watching Sheppard. There is a look on his face she has not seen before and she thinks there might tears in his eyes. When John looks to her she’s frozen, scared and assured all at once and then the floor shakes and Elizabeth grasps Rodney’s hand in her own and then they’re running towards the gate, to safety. The last thing Elizabeth Weir sees is John’s face and the peace that overcomes him as the city embraces him.

\--

The alpha site is green. The smell of the trees and the flowers overwhelms her. Four weeks have past since Atlantis died and they are rebuilding, they are remaking a home. Their supplies are thin but they prepared well for this and it's almost easy to slip into this life, to use the rusty labs and buildings that Rodney will complain about.

The Athosians help them plan a ceremony, a way to remember those that did not make it when people finally feel secure in this new place. They read everyone’s name and Rodney says John’s. He doesn’t cry and his voice doesn’t shake because he was ready for this, ready since John saved his life for the very first time. It hurts though; _fucking hurts_ , in a place Rodney wasn’t sure could hurt. Elizabeth takes his hand in her own and it helps.

She doesn’t read anyone’s name and Rodney knows she is here because it’s expected and that she holds herself together because they look to her. Her serenity and her hopeful cadence tell them they will survive. Rodney isn’t sure they will, he weighs the mathematical probability but doesn’t tell Elizabeth.

\--

He stands outside her door for twenty minutes to work up the courage to knock. He has put this off for weeks, knowing that despite the color to her cheeks and her easy demeanor something is wrong. Rodney doesn’t know if she’d call him her friend but she is the only one, the only living person in two galaxies that he’s willing to stand in front of a gun for since Sheppard died. He thinks that might mean something.

\--

When she lies to him through the door for the millionth time about being busy and tells him she’ll find him later in the day he begins to feel the strange sense of impatience that always made him bolder return. “Look,” he says and he doesn’t even hesitate when he slides the card between the door and the lock, a trick he picked up from Ford. “I’m coming in,” he tells her, hands over his eyes as he grips the handle, twists the card and pushes through.

When the door shuts behind him he peeks through his parted fingers and blinks, tries to adjust his vision to the darkness of her room. It’s midday but her shade is drawn and he can barely make out her shadow on the edge of her bed. The only thing he can see of her is her bare feet, pale and thin from the light her shade leaks.

“Elizabeth,” he says and clears his throat. “If you want to talk,” he offers and god, he doesn’t know if he can do this, if he can be the man she needs to listen to whatever she’s letting eat her up from the inside. He should have asked Carson to come, or Teyla.

Her laughter surprises him and when she turns to face him he can see her smile isn’t as hollow as he worried it might be. “Rodney,” she says and his name sounds warm, safe on her lips. He thinks she just looks sad, the lines around her mouth and eyes more pronounced. He knows she’s a year younger then him because he peeked at the database once but now she looks older, more warn. It’s disconcerting.

“John was a pretty stand up guy,” Rodney starts awkwardly. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say to make it ok. “He saved my life a few times. He was actually pretty annoying about it; I mean I saved the city plenty of times-”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth says quietly again and takes his hand, fingers cool and slender in his own. “It’s ok,” she says and then falls silent, leaving Rodney with only the sound of his labored breathing. “It’s not about John,” she says, “not all of it anyway.”

“Oh,” Rodney said, crestfallen and he’s not sure he understands. He thinks he should tell her it’s not her fault, because it wasn’t, it was no one but the wraith and the Genii but he thinks she already knows that, inside somewhere. He is anxious again; worried that he’s misjudged her. “I should go,” he says but her hand tightens around his.

“Stay?” she asks him and Rodney thinks about the experiment that’s waiting in his lab, the half finished equations he’s scribbled on his dinner napkin.

“Ok.”

\--

He doesn’t remember how they ended up on her bed, fully clothed, but she is breathing evenly and he can feel the steady flutter of her heart from where his hand rests on her chest. She pushes herself back against him in sleep and it feels good despite the fact his left hand has gone numb under the weight of her.

He remembers doing this once for Jennie, after their mother died. He held her until she’d stopped crying and her body had shuddered with those awful dry heaves. He’s not sure why he hasn’t remembered this before, but Elizabeth isn’t crying now. He doesn’t know if that’s good or bad but he thinks she’s already done that, and there is a strange pressure in his chest when he thinks of her crying alone. He shifts with discomfort before closing his eyes and breathes in deep to stop the terrified feeling that’s suffocating him.

\--

When he wakes again they’re facing each other, the fabric of his shirt twisted in her grasp as she sleeps. He is staring at her when she wakes up, dark eyelashes fluttering. She looks at him and he can’t stop himself from reaching out and touching the sharp angle of her cheek. When she leans into his touch he realizes how long it’s been since he’s touched someone and that he’d forgotten why it was important.

Rodney moves his head towards her, and she tilts her jaw upward and he’s half sick with terror when their lips finally meet. She doesn’t taste like anything in particular, but her lips are soft and warm. She touches his face, and he thinks the friction of her fingers against his stubble keeps him in place. He feels the nervous energy bubbling up inside when she pulls away and looks at him and then she moves away and _oh god_ but then she settles closer against him, presses her head to his chest.

“I miss the smell of the ocean,” she says finally into the fabric of his shirt and then softer, “I miss him.”

“Me too,” Rodney says and thinks he knows what she means as he pulls her closer, curls his body around hers.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Also, new [tumblr](http://river-soul.tumblr.com/) friends are always welcome!


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